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_____Every time I sit down at the computer I tell myself I'm going to write an about me that will explain everything about me to everyone that reads it. Then I get into it & my thought process doesn't seem to be able to work in the slightest. Therein I just write a paragraph about anything that will come to mind. Religion, orientation, politics, & life in general can bring up so much debate that it makes me violent. I'd like to think I'm not a violent person, but I avoid conflict, so I'm not too sure about that. People go to a page & judge solely on appearance; is the page dark or colourful, are the pictures dark or colourful, does the person's appearance fit into any little category? It's pathetic. Someone could wear all dark clothes & have the darkest page on here, but not be emo or goth or anything else someone could categorize them as. Hence my page being bright with clouds. =) People think I'm "emo", and I guess you could say I am. Most just define "emo" as being sad & cutting themselves while listening to whiny music or writing poetry. (I'm not saying that's what I think it is, that's what I hear from people.) I do not cut, but other than that, sure. People are too easily categorized. If you don't plan on reading at least the final paragraph then you may as well leave my page, because you'll just be wasting time.
_____My past isn't anything amazing, actually it's rather dull. My mother & father were once in love, but they aren't anymore. It seems to be an increasing trend among couples now-a-days. I'm helping my mother get to the point of divorce, since we both agree that would be best for her, my father, & my little sister. My best friend, Alyce, I met at the end of middle school. We've dealt with so much; our families falling apart, coming out to each other, my lack of skill when it comes to girlfriends, cutting, & our ever shifting personalities. I'd like to say that we'll still be best friends years from now, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. She's my soul mate, but not my girlfriend, that didn't work out. We're meant to be together, just not in an intimate way. I have a hand full of ex friends (friends & girlfriends alike) they've slowly chipped away at my innocence & have exposed me to things in life that I wouldn't have found out about on my own. My friend, Ash, and I started talking to back in the summer of 2007. We've had a number of falling outs and getting back togethers, it's quite confusing, haha. She's completely loverly, you all have no idea what so freaking ever! My (almost?) girlfriend, Amanda, I met my freshman year. We liked each other then, but I wasn't sure of myself in any way & she had her life to deal with. We lost touch for a few years, but started talking again in December of 2008. I decided I wanted to be with her Christmas 2008, I'm just waiting on her now.
_____So, now you know about the people who have shaped me, & now we can touch on the out come of their shaping. Me! This is the part I'm good at, but I hope to do it in a larger scale now. My birthday is March 12, 1992 so that makes me 17 & a Pisces. I have no religion, I believe in no "God" or "Satan", I believe in science. I am only attracted to females, so that would make me a lesbian. I have random, unexplainable, OCD moments, which you'd never guess looking at my room. I love myself. People say you need to love yourself & then you can love others, well, I love myself with all my heart & soul. I'm a hopeless romantic, incredibly loyal, & overly forgiving. I tend to look at other people like they're complete morons. Prove me wrong? & yet I love to make people smile. I will drop everything to help someone or be with them if they need me & I care enough about them. I am vain but not narcissistic. I have a cat & plan on getting 2 kittens when I move out on my own. I talk to my cat about my problems, things I just don't want to burden other people with. No one wants to hear about someone's problems, that's why we have to pay therapists. I've talked to my cat once for 3 & a half hours on end. It doesn't compare to talking to another person, but it does help in a moment of duress. Music is another good way to cope with things in life or a good way to just tell someone what's bothering me. Not that people translate lyrics the way I do. I can find beauty in the most unlikely of places & happiness in the most depressing words. I over think things, so therein I think allot of the time, mostly about life. Therein it would make sense that I like cemeteries; I go to the local cemetery to think or just to forget when life just gets too real. It's comforting in a weird way to know that everyone ends up the same, dead, & that one day I'll be dead & everything will just be alright. People that can read my emotion are nice to be around. I don't want someone to try & talk to me if I just want to sit & think or forget & I don't want someone to try & be quiet if I just want to talk about life or something of the sort. Writing is a big thing with me too! If I send you a message or a comment or anything with writing; spacing matters, bold letters matter, italics matter, quotes & lyrics matter, every little detail gives off signs to my mood. I like putting unnatural colours in my hair! I've put red, purple, & blue in my hair so far. I'm planning on green next time. I'm 6 foot tall & have only up until Amanda dated girls that were 5 foot 4 inches, she's 5 foot 7 inches! I'm pale, so pale that I don't tan, I just burn. I love musicals with every fiber of my being! RENT, Repo! The Genetic Opera, and The Phantom Of The Opera are some of my all time favourites. Victor/Victoria is just a good movie in general. I also enjoy movies that have to do with life like Little Miss Sunshine & Garden State. The Saw Series is an amazing series, & not just because of the gore. "Cherish your life." I don't watch television except TrueBlood! I am not a reader. I hate reading! But I have read the Twilight series, loved them, hated them, & now I can stand them again. I've read Alice's Adventures In Wonderland & that book made me think. I write short stories & poetry if the mood strikes me. I don't share the poetry much though, because I'm horrified of critiques on it. I enjoy swimming & am still a pretty good swimmer even though it's been over 2 years as of summer 2009. Pools are disgusting though, I would much rather be in a river or lake. I know, that makes no sense, but it just feel allot more clean & natural to me. I have made it a life goal to see the ocean too, any of them, I don't care, I just want to see an/the ocean. I used to hate drugs & anyone that even mentioned them, but I finally opened up my mind to trying to understand why. I've tried marijuana, but then again so have most of the people I know. It was nice & I can finally understand what they all meant when they talked about it. I don't like beer, it's just ew. I love the smell of cigarettes though & if I smell cigarette smoke I usually try to find the source. I have one piercing on my lip and I plan on getting tattoos some time in my life. The sunset and sunrise are some of the most beautiful things in life along with rain & the ability of humans to show compassion. I try my hardest not to judge by appearance, but I'm human & it happens. Humans are hypocritical. I completely suck at giving advice & if I don't know you I will scoff at your advice unless I asked for it. I ask loaded questions & expect cliche answers. I can't be away from my cell phone, I honestly start to physically ache, it's pathetic, I know. I used to be completely addicted to the internet, but now it's just filled with a bunch of copies, of copies, of copies, & everyone says the same thing, same thing, same thing.
_____As for my future plans, I first & foremost am going to graduate high school, in December. After that is all said & done I'm going to get emancipated from my parents & get out of Nebraska ASAP. Finally I'm going to community college to get my associate of applied science degree.

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